close

學測指考英文寫作 – Addicted to Computer Games (by 6th grader)

 

[ 學生原作 ]

Addicted to Computer Games (by 6th grader)

Julie – the 6th grader

 

Mike was the first person that left classroom and went home.  He walked quickly, and as he arrived home, he threw dirty clothes and socks on the floor.  Then, he rushed into his bedroom.

 

What Mike want to do immediately wasn’t to finish his homework first.  He decided to play first, so he turned on his computer and started to play the online games.  The games were so interesting that he couldn’t stop, and he even forgot he had something that was more important to do than playing computer games.

 

Hours went by, it was six o’clock now, although Mike felt hungry, he wouldn’t do anything but play.  “Time to have dinner!” Mike’s mom said, but he didn’t hear her because he was wearing an headphones.  “Time to have dinner!” his mother shouted at him.  This time, Mike noticed that someone was talking to him.  Unfortunately, he lost the games because he got distracted by his mother.

 

Mike felt angry, so he yelled at her, “Get out!  Don’t bother me!”  His mother stared at him angrily, then she left his bedroom.

 

Ten minutes later, Mike went downstairs to the kitchen to had dinner because he was too hungry to focus on thinking how to beat the boss in the game.  However, he found that there was nothing he could eat on the table.  “I’m hungry.  Where is the food?”  Mike asked his mother.  “Dinner time is over, you have nothing to eat now.  Do your homework!  Before finish your homework, you can’t play computer!” his mother said.

 

Mike felt regretful.  He was hungry and tired.  “If I had listened to Mom finish my homework and have dinner first, maybe I could play the online games with my friends happily now,” he thought.

 

1) 寫得很好!  (292個字)

2) 劃底線的部分文法有錯

 

 

[ 修改後 ]

Addicted to Computer Games (by 6th grader)

Julie – the 6th grader

 

After the school bell rang, Mike was the first one that ran out of the classroom to go home.  Once arriving at home, he threw dirty clothes and socks in the living room and rushed into his room upstairs.

 

What Mike wanted to do immediately was not to finish his homework.  Instead, he turned on his computer and started running an online game.  Because playing the game was so interesting and exciting, he even forgot there was something more important for him to do.

 

As two hours went by, it was about six o’clock.  Although Mike felt hungry, his eyes were glued to screen and couldn’t do anything but play.  His mom walked into his room and said to him, “Time for dinner!”  But he couldn’t hear her because he was wearing headphones.  She saw no response and shouted at him, “Mike! It is time for dinner!”  This time, Mike noticed that someone was talking to him.  At that moment, due to the sudden distraction, he lost the game unfortunately, which made him very angry and yell at her loudly, “Go away! Don’t bother me!”  Upon seeing his reaction, his mom left his room without saying anything. 

 

About half an hour later, Mike went downstairs to have his dinner because he was too starved to focus on thinking how to beat the rival in the game.  However, he found nothing he could eat on the dining table or in the fridge.  “I’m hungry.  Where is my dinner?” he asked his mother impatiently.  “Dinner time is over.  Of course, you have nothing to eat now,” answered his mom.  Mike knew he did something wrong, changing his attitude immediately, and begging his mom to prepare dinner for him. 

 

“I’ll do it under three conditions.  First, you need to do your homework right after you get back from school.  Second, you can just play computer games half an hour every day.  The last one is to be polite to your mom,” his mom answered calmly.  Mike murmured to himself, “I knew I would have come downstairs to have dinner when Mom called me first time and I could still play the online game with my friends happily now.”

arrow
arrow

    GEOPA 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()